ASIF SULTAN MATTA

Words and tears Asif Sultan Matta 01-01-2017. My pen, a sickle, that slits my veins Muck of despair it always drains Bled-muck dances and sings with me A song of delight and harmony They say, "the tears are heart's blood". Why then still aches when all been shed? The two wells dry and poetry cries Words do revive my heart, when dies. Verses and lines I adore to craft Lighten my onus, when none is left My pen does leak the obstruction And flows the pain of destruction Nàive am I in drafting the poems Do I learn from my own glooms.

Lost in a subtle metaphor Asif Sultan Matta 31st December 2016 Battling to compare my laden heart's weight with which that could show its state I fail to link it with that you're familiar, To reveal it's shrewd hiding traits How would I show a kid, how Noah's flood seemed, Rushing rivers and raging seas can't such intensity create; Should I compare it with tumbling trees in gale? Or shaken with wild deluge, a dashed flood-gate? Lost I am in subtle metaphors of life Too naive to portray my abject state...

Rhyme and harmony Asif Sultan Matta 30 December 2016 Oppresed heart, fatigued eyes and numbed soul: Regret on fury, or pain of betrayal; Struggle to win, always I fail Plenty love gestures play no role Days of blossoms fade very fast, Motifs in 'em seem no more bright, Sweet lurid day turn scary night, Guilt: desire, of now; or remark, of past Desire: should I be loved the way I love; Remark: love not the way she had been loved, They bring fury and turn him wild, Remorse and pain beneath him and above. May fire of my love burn her all remark And rhyme with my desire, harmony it embark.

Fateful Part... Friday, 28 October 2016 Asif Sultan Matta To part is their a loathsome fate, Their fond-regard, a hapless 'late', Lament on this or scoff at stars Or they'd die in unending wait? She visits past like sacred shrine, He, bevvied by her love's wine; Tussle of times rifts them away, His present warm, her past so great; Her deep remorse for then and now, Wasn't he mindful of time's know-how She rubbled under her bygone errs he battles, bleeds to change her state; The course of love never was smooth O'er thorny woods eye-catching bait. To part is their a loathsome fate, Their fond-regard, a hapless 'late'.

Henna, A Memory Asif Sultan Matta           Sunday, 26-06-2016 Her hands spread, cupped in mine. Henna was being painted in them. I wished it took longer time to get her done with that, as I loved to fix her scarf--often without a need-- and itch her nose when it felt so. Her perspired face--because of hot weather or perhaps her nervousness--I wiped with my hankerchief, though my naked fingers were more involed than my hankerchief, intentionally. Best ever time it was to care for her as I desired. Like those, it was, who flank with a bride or a groom embellishing them  too much carefully, even to wipe a tiny vapour on their face or streighten a wee wrinkle in their dress. I had the full previlege. The privilege to carress and care. The privilege reached its zenith when, I, compulsorily but luckily, held her feet and carefully slid them, one by one, slowly, into her shoes that she'd taken off because of sweat in it, before she sat. And she was reluctant...

AS I RECALL Pinches, tender-nudges, hand rubs and smiles; Reverie of day, longing arises; Darkness of night, my tears daubed face, Foster in me a strange solace; Forget I not that cruel storm, That tore my heart and wretched my charm; And shook my world, and dimmed the shine, Ruined love of yours and dreams mine; Do I recall those days and nights, Everyday’s trysts and talking delights; Do I recall those tears of yours, Harboured I for a deep remorse; That I could not wipe them off face Which had faded your grin and grace… ASIF SULTAN 19/04/2016

Feelings Died Asif Sultan Matta 12 am, 12th April 2016. I'm lementing, not because we lost eachother, but for the death of love I had been carefully but passionately nursing and cherishing for you. Near or far you were, doesn't effect me much as long as those beautiful feelings palliated my heart. My heart seems barren now. Dead and withered it is! Feelings have died, thus I lament- lament most vehemently. The moment I resolve to sow the seed of your love in my heart again, the withered tree's pitiable existence scare me. I truly feel that an another 'you'-- the one I loved and who loved me, ardently; longed and who I longed for--hindering me not to dare. Your soul, which you left in me, the another 'you', certainly or perhaps the real you, is so possessive for me to give me away to anyone even to your current being, which to me has turned entirely different, mysteriously, from the one I had feelings for. Alas! They're ruthlessly dead, which I must

Dying Words 27-02-2016 Asif Sultan A storm like feeling; a terrible tide; a huge flood of emotions within me deluging the edifices of my hopes; a constant onus of something alien Bending me down to stare at the cealing With wide open deluge effected soaked eyes Words scattered around me, failed-- Failed to help me to vent what I feel They're also crying and wailing on my state They've emulated eyes, accepted their fate I hear the hiccups of my words Dying they are... No candle they can hold to my eyes My eyes, though sunken, didn't turn sterile My eyes work where my words fatigue They've kneeled down to these two rich wells No guess when this gushing river stops flowing And saves the world from drowning... I'm afraid if it never does There'll be a deluge of Noah, But no one will survive this time, Everything will get drowned No life: nothing and none I'm afraid there'd be such devastation...

My Lovely Friends 24-02-2016 Asif Sultan Matta Five shining stars gleamed my heart, Flowers of ecstasy they always cart; And sew moments with catchy threads, Vanish all gloom, scowl and threats; They sing, they chant like koel birds The songs of love to shake off frets They sing aloud with zeal and love Adoration for me and care lot of, Twinkle they like these shining stars in this silent night and dark, above; No room for sarrow, as they're around No tears, no fears, nor whining sounds Full of elation is their company, Reason to live finds always ground. To make me smile they're always keen, Wish I that God extend their sheen I love plenty my dearest friends Naughty Sana and Sam's trends Asiya, the sober and loving Sana And blonde darling dear Ambreen. (Dedicated to Sana, Asiya, SanaGul, Sam and Ambreen) Thank you all for celebrating my Birthday with exuberance and joy...

Bleeding Queries  17-02-2016 Asif Sultan Matta Reserved all my judgements on you, but my queries and questions are ceaseless and in abundance-- I will ask... Will ask you when my tired sunken wet eyes are not searching for you in the milieu around between the dawn and dusk, but in the darkness--  deep dusky darkness of moonless night, when nothing is visible around and I find-- I find You in me, eyes closed leaking the tears, and asking you a thousand questions... You may not hear my queries laden sobs, but I will keep on shedding tears to seep out all my grievances through my squinting eyes... I have no choice but to cry and question, to save my heart's bewilderment by the accumulated interrogations, which may form a crude judgement to taint my love. that'd be worse than death to me-- I can't bear, thus I cry to wrench my heart dry off the bleeding queries...

The Day has come! A birthday Poem By Asif Sultan Matta 12 am, 30 January 2016. Avidly waiting have been I for this day, To bid you a merry and happy Birthday; Peace and prosperity may shine your life, Day in and day out, I only this pray; Words baffled to express what's in me, My tongue too stammers what to hide and what say? Allied to you be pleased with you, Joyous be of their nights and days; Filled with love and care for you, My heart I wish could all that pay; The day has come and waiting gone, Sing to you aloud "A Happy Birthday". Albiet my part now less to make this day, But God's mercy all around you lay...

Burning words Asif Sultan 18-01-2016 Words burning inside me; Afraid of inking them down... They may burn paper and pen, They may burn me and you they may burn this cold breeze and the aura around; And turn everything to ashes-- Afraid of writing now... Let me withold my words and save the world from being blazed up to flames..

Could I say! 13-01-2016 Asif Sultan I would stab my heart a thousand times with a sparkling sharp dagger to ooze out all the pain from it, weren't you dwelling therein, still. I have forgotten you; I never miss you now; I don't remember the days we spent together and the nights we had deep conversations in- could I be able to say all this! The aura around of the places we visited together and the places we imagined to be in do not evoke my emotions and remind me of you- I can't say that! I see you everywhere- I can't help saying! Breeze passing by; the sun seeping its light through my face; Wind; light; day; night- everything drops your message to me...   I hate the days now for I don't find you by my side. I hate the nights for I babble and mumble  during my restless frickle sleep and you aren't responding, neither listening my ceaseless utterances...I wish I could make you hear; I wish you could respond... I know I've lost you- perhaps forever... Yo

I wander 07-01-2016 Wandering through streets thinking of you, Smile of yours and shining eyes... I find you here walking by my side Curling your arm under mine... I keep on walking though my feet give up, But thoughts of yours make me go on... I'll go on and on as long as streets aren't dusky, Going home now haunt me awfully... You come brimmed over my eyelids With incessant tears as within me you overwhelm... I'll walk; I'll wander, I'll hum your name over and over... Let masses call me mad Let them name me insane... As I sing for you while strolling through The aisle of poplar trees, you come- You come and pat my back I feel you... I smile through my wet eyes As I behold you rubbing my hands And wiping my tears...

I will Smile Asif Sultan Matta 1st January 2016 I will broaden my smile, now. I won't let the people mock our love. I won't stain it, anyway. I'll keep on smiling the way I used to, before, rather wider than that. I'll bury the pain in my heart, I won't express it to people. Instead, I'll make the people realise that you gave me nothing but happiness. I shall wear a smile- a bigger one. Masses won't blame your care, nor my love. My words haven't finished yet... I have a lot to say and express to you. I have a gigantic treasure of words to please you, to merry you, to make you smile and laugh- to make you special. You may be tired of speaking but I am not...You may not listen, but I will write- I will write everything whatever remained unsaid. I will finish all the treasure on you. I'll share the happiness and pain with the paper. My face will reflect happiness, and my pen- the special silvery shining Pen, gifted by you- will write the pain-