An insane Mother! written by Asif Sultan Matta

      An insane Mother!

Though was unable to understand everything but was not oblivious of her son’s abject state.

                                                                                   

It was the love and care of his mother- Saleema, which brought Shabir  up even though his mother was clinically an insane woman.
Shabir, an orphan kid, just five years old child when his father had an accident, while riding his busted cycle. His father fell down from a wooden culvert by a turbulent wind and was found dead. As a small and innocent child, Shabir was not concerned about the woe of the demise of his father- how come? Cause he was just a budding kid! What will be the results of the calamity he has inflicted with made not him worried, being a growing up kid. But the tragedy was so dreadful for Shabir’s mother, Saleema.  It should be- this can only be felt by those women who are deprived from their husbands. The news of the death of her husband withered her hopes and caused her mental disorder. She couldn’t bear the catastrophe of the accidental death of her husband, Wali Mohammad. It was the big mountain of sorrow and pain, which has fallen onto her.
Afterward, she had been much worrying about her child Shabir. She used to tell everybody these words with intense pain and emotions, “Vaay!Amis Shabis Kyah Banyam?”“Ah! What will happen to my Shabir?” While sitting, standing and lying she would obsess about the future of her beloved son and she was utterly infatuated with these uncontrollable and natural feelings of awe of terrific circumstances. But what could she do, being an autistic faded woman?  Was in very helpless condition…The world seems to be so strange for her. People around her seem so selfish. The only thing, which she was able to do and has been doing, that is, to be anxious and screwed up about her child. Her days would dawn with Shabir and envelop with him.
At the very tender age Shabir was sent to a tailor’s shop by his uncle for learning the tailoring, therein. His mother had the aim to give him the contemporary education to illuminate him with knowledge and learning, so that he can be a great officer and will be brighten the name of the clan. She used to say when she was well, “Myani gobra be banavath che bodd Afsar.” “O my son! I will make you an eminent officer”. But piteous, now she is not in the position to do something to educate her ward. The only thing which she could do was sobbing and wailing; and nothing else! She was unable to understand everything but was not oblivious of her son’s abject state.
After many years passed on, Shabir becomes familiar with tailoring. He is now able to make clothes independently, in an elegant way. People mostly liked to make their clothes from him. But was getting paltry amount of wages from the employer (the tailor who taught him), where he had been working, so Shabir wished to purchase his own shop, to work of his own. But, unfortunately, he had not means to purchase it. Saleema understood that his beloved son requires money to open his own tailoring shop. Shabir asked for credit from his uncles and kith and kin, but all refused, as he was destitute person and may default to pay the dues back on time. Saleema, although an insane woman, realized his son’s crave for money. She, out of extreme love, couldn’t stop herself and rushed towards the person where her husband used to work to seek loan from him for her son. As Saleema was an insane woman, He also declines her plea to lend money to her.
 Who can rely upon a lunatic person, who is forsaken even by her own relatives & kinsfolks?
Shabir now decided to give up the tailor’s shop where he had been working, because although working there from dawn to dusk he was getting a meager amount of remuneration from him by which he couldn’t make his ends meet.
 Shabir made up his mind to do his own business. He had some money saved from his pay by which he purchased a cart and some fruits and commenced a small fruit business. He fetches a satisfactory amount of profit from his business. Now he is pretty happy with his trade.
One day shabir went to his shop without having lunch-Tiffin with him. Saleema got upset, as her son had not lunch, she twitchily reiterate mumbling, “Shob Chhum na Phhakai”.. “Shob Chhum na Phhakai…“Shabir is hungry..Shabir is Hungry”.. She was restless and feeling like fish out of water, as her son was starved. She found herself impotent because she had nothing for Shabir and did not know the way where his son works.
          It is nipping cold of Chilai Kalaan while everything was frozen she goes out with a roasted maize for her son, which she usually haves with water as her daily food, as neither she could cook food for herself nor her son, as he leaves earlier for work. The dew, drooping from the roof and laid on the roads had frozen. Icicles laying down from roof were seeming sharp swords.  At noon time it seemed as evening by the bone chilly cold.  But Saleema was obliged to come out though she couldn’t, as failed to control over her motherly caring feelings. Her feelings were overwhelmed for her son. She comes out from her home bare-headed and footed too, with shabby hair and bruised foot, keeping the door ajar, endeavored to keep the battered door shut but couldn’t…leaving it as it is, because was a trivial issue in front of her son’s sufferings… walking with zeal… the zeal of love and care for her son…She was asking everyone she meets, “Shob ma apaeir? Shob ma vuchvoen?” Isn’t Shabir there? Haven’t you seen him? But nobody informed except a shrewd kid, who was passing by the street where she was looking for her son. The boy told her that she needs to mount a tonga in order to reach her sons workplace. But she was broke and couldn’t bear the expenses of boarding a vehicle. She decided to go by foot. ‘My son would be in terrible condition in hunger’ she imagined. ‘I will not let any stone unturned to reach my son’.
          She walked incessantly to feed her son roasted maize. Her body was shivering by the intense cold, feet were injured and her hands were numbed.
          Mothers are always ready to sacrifice anything for their wards, and they go to any extent to make their children feel good.
          Finally Salima reached to her son, worn out, overwhelmed. The mother holds her son to embrace him with motherly feelings. But more’s the pity Shabir enraged and threw the maize on road, angrily, which was offered to him by her caring mother. The boy felt ashamed as his mother was in front of him, because of the reason that she was mentally sick. Shabir didn’t care about her mother’s suffering for him in this biting cold. ‘Who told you to come here’ Shabir furiously scolded his mother. Saleema could do nothing but cry incessantly…

          This should be paid heed to that mothers do a lot for us but we don’t care about their feelings. We get irritated by their care and love. Whatever they do, they do for our betterment. Shouldn’t Shabir respect her mother’s endeavor for his care in hunger?

                                                                      ASIF SULTAN MATTA

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