Is marriage in Islam simple or complex? by Asif Sultan Matta
Is marriage in Islam simple or complex?
The
Islamic Conference May-2013 organized by Islamic Fraternity in Convocation
Complex University of Kashmir. An acknowledged and eminent speaker on Peace TV,
Sheikh Shamim Fauzi (Hafizahullah) was its chief guest who casted light on the
topic “Is Marriage in Islam Simple or Complex?” In which Sheikh urged Muslims especially
Kashmiri Muslims to perform Marriage according to the way of Prophet and his
companions, i. e. uncomplicated and simple styled marriages and devoid of that customs
which lead to complexity and onus upon people. He further pitiably denounced
the marital burdensome customs prevailing in Kashmir and all over the world. ‘Marriage
is among the basic requirements of every society and life cannot be survived on
the right track without it’, Sheikh added.
Sheikh
Shamim Fauzi regarded Marriage as a food and a survival for humanity and a
sacred gift from our Cherisher. While explaining the meaning of Nikah in
Islamic terminology, he said, ‘Nikah is the Islamic law of that agreement (EJAB
O QABOOL) between a stranger man and a stranger woman by which the bond between
them becomes legitimate’.
Sheikh
expounds regarding the purpose of Marriage, ‘we are supposed to perform Nikah
because it is our natural necessity, the command of the Lord of the universe;
Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Mohammed (Pbuh)’. Marriage is not only meant to
satiate one’s carnal instinct but it has a grand purpose, i.e. it protects
one’s gaze, chastity and modesty; and by it Allah disperses the human
population, in fact, which will become the source of boast for our adored Prophet
for having a large number of Ummah (followers) on the Day of Judgment. Spouses
are the garments for each other, as they are obligated to protect the modesty
and dignity of each other. Marriage completes the half of one’s religion
because it saves a person form indulging in Haram activities. But regrettably,
we have forgotten the real essence of Marriage.’
Regarding
the selection of spouse for marriage, Sheikh advised youth to give first
priority to piety and righteousness, so that their progeny will be pious and virtuous.
‘Islam
is the only religion which is harmonious with nature (DeenulFitrah). While in
other religions like Hinduism, they measure the desistance from marriage as the
highest level of piety and encourage the monkish approach of life, which is
undoubtedly confront against the nature, so often they fall in illicit sexual
relationship, as evident from their own history of monasticism. But Islam has opened
the natural way for satisfying this need in a regulating and a legal manner’. Scholar
said.
Sheikh
reckoned Nikah as worship and a virtue because it provides a person a lawful
way to satisfy his sexual crave. In contrast, doing so while not in the state of
marriage is an offense. He also stated that the large numbers of invitations, Kashmiri
Wazwan (Kashmiri famous cuisine in which the large number of dishes are served),
concept of Barat, Dowry system are the difficulties and curses in today’s
marriages. He admonished people to confine the number of dishes to be served in
Walimah in one or two instead of more than that and shun useless expenses in
their marriages.
‘I
have never seen as much number of dishes as are in ‘Kashmiri Wazwan’,’ Orator
astonishingly said. ‘Islam has come to relieve burdens and shackles from us but
we have ruined ourselves and made our lives vapid, by distracting from the religion
of Allah’. Sheikh decried.
‘Concept
of Barat is patently unislamic. It is basically a Hindu terminology derived
from the word ‘BAR YATRA’ meaning ‘Pilgrimage towards Bridegroom’s house’. In
fact, in Hinduism girl is not entitled to get the share from the inheritance of
her relatives, so that’s why she is granted something at the time of her
marriage. The large numbers of men accompany the bridegroom when going to
bride’s home, so that they can retaliate the attack if the caravan is happening
to be plundered while departing back to home with abundant quantity of commodity
received from the Bride. Unfortunately we have adopted this nefarious custom in
our Muslim marriages, readily’ Sheikh dispelled and deplored.
Sheikh
Fauzi counted lavishness in marriages, music, kawali, band, etc among the
unislamic actions in today’s Muslim marriages.
Moreover,
He stated, ‘Dowry is the most dreadful custom in present marriages. It is a
curse by which our daughters and sisters are not able to get married and live a
dignified life. Girls reach at the age
of 30,35,40, so on and so forth but not married yet because their parents are
unable to give dowry. So often they prefer to flee and marry unlawfully though
they belong to a noble family, most likely they resort to in immodesty to
satisfy their carnal natural desires.
‘Suicides,
drug abuse, prostitution, female infanticide are the terrible consequences of
dowry system’, sheikh told. ‘According to the reports, in India, at least 14000
(fourteen thousand) suicides are committed in one year due to the despicable
curse of dowry system; 26000 (twenty six thousand) women adopt prostitution in
one year as they fail to satisfy their desires by legitimate way i.e. by
Marriage, because their parents couldn’t afford to render the dowry. At least 1,12,000
(One Lac Twelve thousand) female infanticides are occurred in a year because
their parents consider them as onus upon them because they cannot bear the malediction
of dowry system- Indictment for all of us!’ Sheikh vehemently addressed.
‘We
should take it into consideration to eradicate this filthy plague of dowry
institution.’ Sheikh exhorted the audience emotionally.
Chief
Guest proved by the Seerah of Prophet Mohammed and his companions that Nikah is
very simple and urged listeners to follow it. For that he elucidated the story
of Abdul Rehman Bin Auf. In which even prophet was oblivious about the marriage
of Abdul Rehman because it was not such complex and comprehensive so that
everybody could get aware of it.
‘Only
two expenses are supposed to be incurred, those are Mehar (Marriage gift of groom
to his wife) and Walima (Marriage invitation sponsored by Bridegroom’s end
after the consummation of marriage). The both expenses should be borne by the husband
and his family not by bride’s side’.
‘Parents
brought up their daughter by straining their every nerve. They have sacrificed
their health and wealth to foster and to educate her, but at the time of
marriage of their daughter they are bound to relinquish their rights upon her.
But more’s the pity upon those people who relish the feast invitation there and
ask for dowry, which is sheer oppression upon bride’s end’. He pitiably stated.
The
Conference was concluded by an open Question Answer session, in which the
speaker satisfied the questioners with his solid responds. A most excellent
questioner was selected and was entitled for a prize for her good question during
the last session.
At
last, Brother Mohammed Amir expressed gratitude to the Chief Guest Sheikh
Shamim Fauzi, audience, authorities of Kashmir University, media and
Volunteers. Maulana Mushtaq Ahmad Veeri, a famous Islamic
speaker, was also among the audience and was thanked by the Anchor for his
participation in the conference.
‘Now
I request everybody on behalf of Islamic Fraternity to come in our future
organized programmes. We are preparing to invite Nisar Nadiadwala and Sheikh
Sanauallah Madni in our upcoming Islamic conferences,’ Mohammed Amir said.
Sheikh
Shamim Fauzi hailed the efforts of Islamic Fraternity for disseminating the
Islamic teachings, and he attributed his arrival in Kashmir to the regular
contacts of Mohammed Amir, President of Islamic Fraternity and editor of ‘The
Islamic Revival’, with him. Sheikh also appreciated the young Dayi Mohammed
Amir for his persevering and admirable endeavors for propagation of Islam
through Islamic conferences and other commendable activities.
Asif Sultan Matta
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